I was reading some posts over on the DGM forum, because I hadn't been there in a while. My time is limited, and I'm a moderator over on Mancoat. Therefore, I spend most of my time on Mancoat. Still, I like to visit HB and DGM when I can. Anyway, Irlandes had this EXCELLENT post on child support in modern Amerika. He discusses what it means, and it means slavery for men. If the definition of slavery is compulsory labor for somene else's economic benefit, then we truly do have slavery in Amerika today. Read this, and remember-DO NOT GET MARRIED!
Here is some training on child support law for Valerie, and perhaps for her dad.
Child support laws are based on the legal requirement for all parents to support their children. If you or your dad don't know this, get a good Law Review. I did.
Sounds good in theory, but in practice it doesn't work like that. And, it works so unlike that, that child support law is essentially slavery in the US.
Here is why.
A married man can make decisions on how to spend money. If he gives his wife money for the kids, he can demand proof the money was spent on the kids, and he can decide what to pay for. Child support payers cannot do this, nor do women have to prove the money was spent on the kids.
No, it's worse than that. She can openly and proudly admit she uses the money on herself or on children that are not his, and he has no legal recourse. Thus, legally, child support is alimony, and if the mother wishes to use it on the kids, she can. Likewise, if she tells the kids they have to get a job to buy their own clothes for school, she can, and can spend the money on Victoria's Secret, and he has no recourse.
Next, a married man, if he loses his job, the family has to cut back to try to get by. The married man is not responsible for toys and cell phones and gas money for kid's cars when he is unemployed. And, cutting back means he has less debt when he does find work. No new bicycles for now. No trips to Aruba now. If necessary, no candy bars for now. No new shoes. No new clothes. Shop at Salvation Army Thrift shop.
A child support payer gets no relief for being unemployed. The bill goes on with interest in some states, even while he is lying in the hospital with both legs cut off with a chain saw. The married man has no accumulated debt.
A married man can choose not to pay for his kids college education. It matters not that most folks do. A married man has a choice. He can say he is tired of supporting the kid who now is an adult. He can say he does not approve of the kid's behavior and thinks it's good for him to earn his way, or get a job. Or, he can say he has been working too hard and at his age, he wants to cut back on hours worked, or move to a different job that he would like to try, but which will make less money. Or, he can say he doesn't believe in college.
Or, also he can say he simply doesn't want to pay for college, and no one can do a thing to him.
I know this personally, because when my daughter finished high school I told her I was not going to help her unless she absolutely needed it. She had to work and pay her own way. She did, and finished her college degree in 1991 with no debt as well as no help from me.
So, this is a case where child support laws do not merely reflect the obligation of all parents to support their kids.
I knew a cop who was divorced, and since he had to pay considerable child support, took a second job to try to make a decent income after c/s. His ex- immediately took him back to court, to receive her share of his second job. So, he took a third job to try to have a substantial income. She took him back to court and the court ordered a part of that second job to be paid as c/s
After a year or so, he was exhausted from 80 or 90 hour weeks, and wanted to cut back those two jobs. Nope the judge told him. You cannot reduce your income voluntarily, or better said, you can increase your income voluntarily, in which case your c/s payments go up, but no matter what, you cannot cut back your child support payments once they have gone up.
A married man can change jobs as he wishes. He can move his family to a cheaper place to get by on less money when he voluntarily changes to a lower paying job. He can also reduce his hours if he wants, with no explanation to anyone.
If a married man becomes unemployed, and falls behind on goodies for the kids, he does not have to repay it later when he goes to work. That is, he can cut back and they have to accept it. Child support payments based on school trips and luxuries and new bicycles that kids of unemployed dads have to forego, for a child support payer become a blood debt, and there is no relief ever.
Gosh, how could I forget the big one? The basis of child support payments is that all parents are obliged to support their kids. But, millions of women sit on their fat rear ends, make no attempt to support their kids at all, while the taxpayers give her lots of money in cash and benefits, then tell the father he not only must support those kids, but must pay the taxpayers back for their payments to Ms. Lazy Arse. And, toss him in jail if he loses his job and can't keep up.
Wait. There' s more. No mentally healthy married man will deliberately neglect one of his kids while buying luxuries for another. Yet, child support laws do not make provisions for a man to support his new kids while he owes child support for the older ones. In fact, not even necessities for newer kids.
How about Mommy? Um, she can split her income between all her kids. She can use his child support money for kids that aren't even his. If custodial mothers were treated like c/s payers, she would have to put new kids by other men in unheated rooms, and feed them nothing, with his c/s money.
Another big one I forgot. If a married man is unemployed and accumulates a big debt, he can file bankruptcy, and in many cases today, he will perhaps still be required to pay what he can, based on his income. Child support payers get no relief at all. There are a lot of men who had periods of unemployment, and fell behind due to failure to reduce their orders. Today, in their 60's and beyond, just the accumulated interest is all that can be taken out of their income, they will be forced to pay unto death. That would never happen to a married man.
Child support is slavery in the US.
Fellas, that is reason ENOUGH to avoid women and marriage! Don't do it! For that matter, don't cohabit, either; cohabiting women, thanks to changes in the law, are being given the same 'rights' as married women. Translation: now, your live-in girlfriend can fuck you over the same as if she were married to you!
Whatever you do, Gentlemen, do NOT sire children! Do not have sex with women, because having sex means that there's a chance she can have a baby; that's a byproduct of sex, remember? For that matter, don't be on women's radar, period; avoid ANY AND ALL ABSOLUTELY UNNECESSARY INTERACTIONS WITH WOMEN! I can't emphasize that enough! Why? Give me a minute, and I'll explain...
A woman can have sex. She can get knocked up by her bad boy lover. Then, knowing that her boyfriend, Lenny the Meth Chemist, doesn't have a legitimate, documented income stream, she'll put YOUR name down as the father. Guess what?! The state's going to come after YOU for the money! Thanks to 'welfare reform', a woman applying for benefits must put down the father's name, so the state can take the money out of his ass. They don't care if they get the wrong guy, either; they just want their money, and they want it now. Well, if a woman doesn't know who you are, then your name won't come to mind when she's filling out the welfare forms. She'll put some other sucker's name down. That sucks for him, but your whole objective here is to remain unscathed by the system; you can best do that by staying off women's radar screens.
I'd like to thank Irlandes for sharing his thoughts on DGM. He's been around, and he knows what's what. Remember guys, if you're thinking of getting married, DON'T! Read this post repeatedly until you get it through your thick heads that: 1) you don't get married to a woman; 2) you don't live with them; 3) don't have sex with them; 4) do NOT, under any circimstances, have children with her; and 5) don't be visible to women at all! Let them do their thing, and you do yours. Let some other schlub be her victim, not you. Have a good day now...