Sunday, March 14, 2010

Dealing with 'The Question' at Work...


I published this post back in November, 2008. Since most of us have to work with women, we need to know how to deal with 'the question' at work. What is 'the question'? Why don't we have a woman in our lives? If there's one thing you, a MGHOW, can bank on, it is this: you WILL be asked why you don't have a girlfriend, fiance, or wife. In this post, I tell you how I handle this delicate situation, and why. Read and learn, Grasshopper!


This post could be considered Part II of last night's post, "Ladies, It's YOUR Problem". The quandary most of us MGTOW find ourselves in is how to answer 'The Question'; how do we deal with the inevitable queries as to why we're still single? I'll relate past experiences along with what I learned; I'll tell you what I do now, and why I do it. It's worked for me, and I think it'll work for my readers too.

Number one is to remember that you must be careful around men too; it's not just women who will hold your honesty and candor against you. At my previous job, I was NOT shy about being a happy, single bachelor; I loudly and proudly proclaimed all the joys of single life, such as being able to purchase two motorcycles with my bonus. Not only that, my boss' right hand man, his assistant, was engaged at the time; I tried to dissuade him from walking down the Aisle of Doom to no avail. He and his woman both came from intact families, and to him, marriage was normal; he said to me that everyone gets married. After hearing that, I no longer tried to dissuade him.

Almost all the other guys in the department were married. There were three of us who were single: a nice, young kid who'd just graduated college; another man who's a Christian; and there was me. Anyway, in early 2007, my boss was told to reduce headcount; he was told that he had to get rid of someone. The axe fell on me. Though it turned out to be a blessing in disguise (my present employer is doing better than my former one, and I have better long term prospects), I don't think that my unabashed MGTOW views helped me. I don't think that most of the guys were happily married, and they didn't like me reminding them of that. The moral of the story is that you have to be careful around men too when it comes to expressing MGTOW views.

As for women, it goes without saying that you have to be careful around them. The moment you even INSINUATE that women might not be perfect, you get accused of hating women and all that crap; they'll tell you that you should have known better, picked better, etc. At least one of them will go crying to the boss about how you're a big misogynist; they'll say that you have 'trouble working with women', and all that crap. It doesn't matter whether your boss is male or female, either. If your boss is a man, he'll be eager to be the little ladies' knight in shining armor, so he'll come down on you; he'll make an example of you. If your boss is a woman, then she'll back up her fellow sisters; since you attacked one of them, you attacked all of them, including her. If you espouse MGTOW views at work, you're putting your job on the line.

Even if you keep your job, your future prospects at that employer have been damaged-all because you dared to criticize women, and say that they might not be perfect. And make no mistake about it; if you upset your female colleagues in any way, you just might end up with a pink slip. Employers are scared to death of a lawsuit from one of the dearies, so they'll do almost anything to placate them-even if it means firing you. Anyway, it goes without saying that you absolutely, positively CANNOT share your MGTOW views with women, nor can you share your reasons WHY you hold those views-not if you wish to keep receiving a steady paycheck.

It's easier for men to lose their jobs than it is for women; the converse of this is that it'll be harder for us to REPLACE that lost job too. One, women are members of the protected class, whereas we are not; women have the power in the workplace, and men do not. Women know this, and they will exploit this too-especially if it means getting even with someone who said that they're not a goddess; how DARE that POS man criticize me, a superior being! Two, we men will be discriminated against during a job search. Men interviewing job applicants are mostly manginas, and they're going to want some pretty eye candy to look at on the job; we are not eye candy to them. Women also have the EEOC and other alphabet soup, gov't agencies backing them; big daddy gov't tells employers that they'd BETTER give the little women a chance, so they do-at our expense, of course. Ergo, if you're a man, you do not want to run afoul of the little dearies-if you're unfortunate enough to work with them, that is.

I have told you what not to do, and I have told you why. However, I have not told you what TO DO. Don't worry, I'll answer that all important question right now...

So, what does a MGHOW say when asked about his single status? How does he answer such a question? You're about to step into a nasty mine field, and it must be navigated with care. You know what I say? I simply say that I never met the right one; rather, I met the right one, but I didn't meet her at the right time. I go on to tell about the lovely relationship I had while stationed at Pearl Harbor over 20 years ago; I wax poetic about how it was like the relationship Mr. & Mrs. Bailey had in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life". I know that this is idealizing things a bit, but not by much. I then say that, unfortunately for me, I was in the Navy at the time; I got orders sending me back to the mainland, thus ending the relationship. I close by saying that both the woman and true love that we shared ruined all subsequent women and relationships. Then, I leave it at that.

This does a couple of wonderful things; with either a male or female audience, this does some wonderful things. It easily deflects any subsequent questions about your single status, and does so in a way without making you look bad. I'll explain...

With men, they'll understand about wanting that someone special; though they won't openly ADMIT it, most men wish they'd married better, i.e. that they had a nicer woman for a wife. In other cases, they too lost a love from long ago, and they understand the power a lost love has over a man's heart. If you're dealing with a man who wishes that he married better, he'll quietly respect your decision to hold out for someone special, and he'll applaud you for doing so. If you're dealing with a man who also lost someone special long ago, he too will understand the power a lost love has on a man; if he married someone else, he will also respect and admire your decision to not settle for less. Face it, Fellas; most men wish that they either married someone else, or they wish that they'd remained single themselves. The worst thing you can do is rub their nose in the fact that you're a happy, single, and free MGHOW! No matter how you slice it, handling 'The Question' the way that I did will have your fellow men admiring and respecting you, not hating you for being happily single. Your fellow men won't consider you a pariah or enemy, and in this economic environment, that matters.

When dealing with women, I've found that they'll feel sorry for me when I answer 'The Question' the way that I have. They'll see me as a sweet, romantic, loving guy who's still carrying a torch for someone else; they'll see me as emotionally unavailable, so they'll leave me alone. Secondly, because they see me as sweet, romantic, and all that, they won't have desire for me, since most modern women want bad boys who treat them like crap. Thirdly, I come off as someone who's being true to his heart; they see me as following my heart. Since women are emotional creatures enslaved to their feelings, they understand this PERFECTLY! They'll feel sorry that I no longer have the love of my life; seeing that this is a tender spot with me, women will leave me alone too. By saying I met the right one at the wrong time, I get women off my back too, albeit for different reasons. Even so, I get 'em off my back WRT 'The Question'.

Whatever you do, do NOT tell them the truth! Come to think of it, if you say you haven't met the right one yet, you ARE telling the truth; you just aren't telling them all of it. Think about it; if you're a MGHOW trying to fly under the radar, you are telling them the truth. You have NOT met the right woman; you just leave out the part that, in this toxic, feminazi environment, meeting the right one is all but impossible. Men, particularly married ones, don't wish to be reminded of the fact that they made a huge mistake when they married. Women don't like to hear anything that even has a hint of criticism. If you say anything remotely critical to a woman, they'll go ballistic; they absolutely cannot handle being told that they're anything less than a princess or goddess-they just can't! IOW, what I'm saying to you guys is this: assume that both men and women cannot handle the truth, and govern yourselves accordingly. Give them part of the truth, but don't give them the whole truth. To borrow a line from Col. Nathan Jessup in "A Few Good Men", they (the vast majority of both men and women) can't HANDLE the truth! Ergo, you don't give it to them. Just give them enough to placate them, then drop it.

Jesus instructed his followers to be as wise as serpents, yet as harmless as doves. I think that this is a good example of that principle. Too bad I had to learn it the hard way, but at least I learned it. At work, if you're a MGHOW, then showing your hand is NOT an option! Repeat: as a MGHOW, laying your cards on the table is not an option! If you do so, you'll make enemies of both men and women you work with; this, in turn, could place your job in peril. So, just give them enough truth to satisfy them; tell them you haven't met the right one, and leave it at that. Again, you're telling the truth, because meeting the right one is impossible! You don't have to tell your COLLEAGUES that; they won't appreciate it if you do so anyway...

In closing, if you're asked about your single status, simply say that you haven't met the right one. Better yet, if you had someone nice long ago, but you got separated from her, then play that up. Men will understand why, and they'll leave you alone; as an added bonus, they'll admire and respect your decision to not settle. Women will see you as a sweet, loving, romantic person who's got a broken heart. They'll feel sorry for you, since your heart is broken; because you're carrying that sorrow (or so they think), they'll leave you alone, so as to not exploit that emotional wound. If you play up the broken heart angle, women will show compassion for you-even if you're a man! Who would've thought? A woman showing compassion for a man? Yes, it does happen! Furthermore, because they see you as a nice, romantic, sweet guy, you'll repulse most modern women; nice guys are boring and weak in their eyes, so they'll remove you from their 'boyfriend material' list. With women, you'll play up the 'feeeeelings' angle, which will work like a charm! In either case, as a MGHOW, you can continue to fly under the radar, thus preserving your job and livelihood; that's always an important consideration, but never more so than in these days and times. Thank you, and have a good day...



  1. another good one is telling them you were engaged to be married to the perfect woman blah blah, but she died two years ago in a car crash or maybe something more exotic. then say how you're still recovering and just focusing on yourself for the time being.

  2. Anon1709,

    Yeah, that's a good one. Say you lost your beloved in a car crash, and that you're still getting over it, not 'emotionally available', etc. I like it!


  3. Excellent article. I was lucky that in my career I was never asked this question but this is the best way to handle it.

  4. I totally agree with this article. However, in order to counter the massive societal pressure to conform I suggest some productive and stess releiving activities such as: Walking or cycling; reading; adopting a pet, (if you have the time or resources); enjoying music or your favorite movies; giving your time to a worthy cause (I prefer animal rescue), enjoying a nice meal in your favorite restaurant (I recommend bringing a book to read to ease any awkward moments) etc. Society and even your own family can place a lot of pressure on you to participate in the dating and marraige game and activites such as these can help ease your stress..

  5. Take random selfies with women you meet - just so long as it's someone "work" will never meet. Put said picture on your desk. When asked about the "new girlfriend" wink and say "I'll never tell! Oh, but seriously we're taking things real slow...". Turn down as much over-time as the other saps. Plans for the weekend? OF COURSE you do. Rock climbing with "Brandy". Sailing with "Brandy". Salsa dancing with "Brandy". Then look depressed for a couple months - let your hair go a bit and don't shine your shoes. People will notice and guess "Maybe he broke up with BRANDY!". Eventually, some busy-body woman will go SO nuts wondering she will ask... "So... Steve... How is BRANDY DOING?". "Aw, gee, yeah Brandy, yeah she was great but we were just headed in different directions you know? Yeah... it was for the best...I told her I wasn't willing to compromise... Hard, but had to be done!".

    Then in a few months, get new clothes and put a new picture of a new chick on your desk.

    Basically, f*** with their feeble little minds.

    That's how I plan to handle it anyways. I'll let you know how it goes. I might even take the odd hooker to a company christmas party - but provide the strangely conservative dress for her to wear... hahaha.

  6. When asked why I wasn't married I said "Every girl I ever asked said no." The person asking the question (always a woman) appeared stunned, walked away and never asked again.That's the truth. They were not accoustomed to someone being so honest.

  7. All of these lies, all of this (feminist-like) manipulation from grown men toward their coworkers...isn't that a bit weak? Why not just stand up for yourself and say, "I enjoy being alone. The rest is my business, thanks." Jeez, grow a pair, fellas. I say this with brother love. Have some pride. You can say you're not interested in a relationship without saying mean things about women, if you're that frightened. -- Chris

    1. I don't see why anyone should have to make up phony reasons for being single. That's bullshit.

    2. It's for self preservation, or did you not get that?

  8. Chris,

    It depends on the climate at work. That said, if it's your typical, feminized corporate environment, you have to be VERY careful what you say around the women; if they bend the boss' ear in the right way, you're toast! The worst case scenario, of course, is that you're fired; the best case scenario is that you never get promoted or anything.


  9. >" Furthermore, because they see you as a nice, romantic, sweet guy, you'll repulse most modern women"

    This is horrible advice. Yes you will repulse the majority of women. But you'll also have the most desperate, fucked up bipolars in the place swarming you like flies to shit. Plus, every man in the place will lose respect for you. Bad, bad idea.

    All you do is say you're divorced, and you don't give any more info than that. If they ask you about your previous marriage or future plans, just say "What a depressing topic!" and laugh. You'll fit right in.

  10. I start a new job tomorrow. Its at a New York City fashion photography studio. 98% gorgeous women and gays work there. The owner, two carpenters and I are the only straight men. I am a twice divorced MGHOW. When I went in for the interview And the owner walked me around the studio, I could feel every womans eyes on me like I was a the fresh meat being paraded around before feeding time. The sharks were circling. I have a feeling Ill be getting the question on my first day. I'm planning on responding with this. "My daughter holds a complete and absolute claim to my love and affection. So, I have none left to spare for any other intimate relationships. ". Wish me luck.

  11. How about just say, "That's personal and my private life and I don't wish to share it".