Sunday, February 13, 2011

Hangin' On, by Chris in OR


I was reading at Happy Bachelors when I found the following post.  I know I've posted this or something similar, but this needs to be repeated; this is something my boys need to hear.  They need to hear about how to make it till 30, when the allure of women wears off...


During my twenties my parents constantly told me if I could just get to thirty, I would be home free. They were right.

Women, even the truly attractive ones, somehow just aren't that attractive once your sex drive starts to disappear. The fog lifts, and you start noticing the annoying and down-right rotten things about women that you never noticed when you were blinded by your sex drive.

You start seeing the physical imperfections that even the prettiest women have. The blemishes. The overuse of cosmetics. Things caught in their teeth. Plaque build-up. Hair on the lip. Less than perfect hair dye. Bad hair cut. Bushy eye brows. Bad breath. The stupid laugh that grates on your nerves. Her lack of knowledge in current affairs. Shit. The list grows ever longer as you grow older, and your patience grows shorter.

Women simply start to annoy by their mere presence after a point in life.

When you hit forty, the situation becomes laughable. If you listen to nothing else I say, boys, trust me on this one:

The satisfaction you get from snubbing or cancelling out on a date at the last minute with a 35+ attractive woman makes the misery you suffered at the hands of women all worth while.

Granted; I never really suffered, as I avoided them, but what the heck, I might as well enjoy it as long as it's being throw in my face.

I took the last few days off work, and rode my Harley Beasties around. Just because I bloody-well wanted to. Today, I rode all around the snow covered mountains surrounding Mt. St. Helens. An absolute blast. Most of the roads are still closed due to extremely heavy snow. So, I rode where I could, and sat at a viewpoint for about fifteen minutes talking about motorcycles with the Under-Sheriff of Skamania county. He rides, and we had a blast sitting there staring at Mt. St. Helens and talking about the Elk and Deer that inhabit the area. It was a memory that will last forever. Fifteen minutes with a total stranger permanantley imprinted on my mind. It sure beat the hell out of spending the day perusing the aisles of K-Mart with a fat bitch of a wife.

I came home, watched movies, a few episodes of Hogan's Heroes, and it's off to bed. Tomorrow, I stop by the doctor because I've been riding my bikes so much, it's re-activated a long dormant 'roid. Hope he can cure it. lol. Ah, the penalties of being a care-free bachelor. Oops. I meant joys.


Amen!  Just hang in there, Fellas; sooner or later your sex drive will die off, and you too can be free from the clutches of a terrible beast; you too can resist the allure of women.  I needed to be reminded of this, so I don't get the hots for someone like Maria.  WTF was I thinking?!  Anyway, thanks for the reminder, Chris!  Until next time...